This is a poem I wrote earlier this year after our trip to California.  My writing group helped me with the structure and I’m pretty happy with the result.  I like the ambiguity of the pronouns, but I wonder if they confuse the reader.  Feel free to read and respond! 

 

We sit

softly

escaping the heat

of the afternoon

 

We sip

slowly

savoring the sweet

of the cool drink

 

He suckles

silently

caring nothing of

the space we occupy

 

We sleep

snuggled

in the cozy chair

by the great glass window

 

He stares

strangely

and I wake, wondering

what he is thinking

 

I smile

serenely

realizing the public

home we’ve created

 

He sighs

slightly

as if shaking other

thoughts from his mind

 

We stand

stiffly

comfortable that we’ve

outstayed our own welcome